Have Yourself a Merry Hipster Christmas

What makes a Hipster? It's really hard to determine, but ultimately I'd have to say a Hipster is an individual.
They don't want to shop at Target because two hundred other people will have the same pot set in their kitchen; they prefer to shop at their local consignment/thrift/antique/clothing exchange over J. Crew or Macy's because the jackets and pants purchased will be one of a kind. They find it difficult to muster enthusiasm for a band that everyone else also loves. And they love to have a connection to just about every material thing in their lives.

The OG hipster

William Morris, founder of the Arts and Crafts Movement in the 19th-century and Granddaddy Hipster is quoted as saying the above. A 21st-century hipster would add, "be able to tell a story, no matter how menial the item, about how you acquired it."

How then, would someone who marches against the mainstream drum, celebrate one of the most world-wide popular holidays?

Decoration

Imagine with me, Dear Reader, a loft in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. There will be people, very skinny people (because Hipsters don't eat anything they haven't grown themselves and/or less than three degrees of separation from the person who cultivated the victuals). They will be wearing Buffalo Plaid and maybe playing a ukulele, mandolin and/or a banjo and/or an accordion (not a guitar because that's super bro-mainstream); there will be deeply ironic Christmas tree ornaments like a slice of pizza (geddit? because they live in Brooklyn?); will there be an actual Christmas tree? Actually, I don't know, maybe a collection of potted palms or spruces. However, if there are no mason jars to drink your PBR or Apple Cider Old Fashioned or Cranberry Hot Toddy out of, you are not having a Hipster Christmas. 

Menu

Roast Duck or goose is a really strong possibility, due to its authenticity and display of kitchen prowess, and the hint of exoticism a roast fowl exudes, and of course the story of the really awesome, hole in the wall butcher shop run by this gal who looks straight off a Polish chicken farm. Try this recipe from the New York Times. To be truly Hipster, though, make this duck into Korean tacos, with kimchi.

Side include: Brussels sprouts (familiar ground? Don't be too sure); a wild rice, pomegranate salad with green goddess dressing; cauliflower mash; mac'n'cheese with artisanal cheese (again, there will be a story about how/where this cheese was procured) and porcini mushrooms they may have foraged themselves (maybe give this one a pass). Dessert will be a deconstructed, very heavy on the rum, Christmas pudding served in, what else? A mason jar.

Appropriate Gifts

• A pour-over coffee set
• Beard accessories (think lotions, oils, trimmers) 
• Records of obscure bands 
• A typewriter
• A film Pentax camera
• Gift card to Urban Outfitters, Free People, Etsy, 
• Fake taxidermy
• Beer/cider/wine/kombucha making kit
• Homemade preserves including but not limited to: pickles, jams, marmalade's, chutneys (this one gets you bonus points because no one really knows what a chutney is), conserves, fruit butters, syrups from things you wouldn't normally make syrups from like Rosemary or Collard Greens, preserved lemons
• Anything hideous from your local thrift store.

Music

Honestly, this may be a touchy subject. Hipsters are a very musical bunch of people; are they talented? Not necessarily, but they still really enjoy a good meditation over the keyboard synthesizer, accompanied by a mandolin and cello. If by some miracle tragedy they forget those items, I recommend this playlist on Spotify. While the Lumineers are not on it, there are plenty of sound-alikes, most notably The Oh Hellos, The Branches, and a very Zooey Deschanelly Zee Avi singing Frosty the Snowman.