These Are a Few of My Favourite Things: AMERICAN THANKSGIVING EDITION 2022

I Love Thanksgiving!

While there are some not so savory dark sides to the traditional legend of Thanksgiving, I vastly prefer it to Christmas; there's no gift-giving analysis paralysis, no so-called "war on Christmas," and easily ignored football game (unless you're a fantasy football widow, we'll pour one out for you). Just lots and LOTS of delicious food. My favourites are as follows:

1) Cranberry sauce

I'm going to burn a lot of bridges here by saying I cannot stand canned cranberry sauce. And you know what? I don't care! Of all the dishes on the table cranberry sauce is the easiest to make; literally cranberries, sugar, some water, and orange juice if you're feeling fancy. Cook in a saucepan until the berries start poppin' and it looks saucy. That's it!

2) Stuffing

Specifically my mother's stuffing recipe: rolled oats, a chopped onion, and some salt. When my grandmother made this stuffing she mixed in bacon grease, and, if you don't give a shit about your arteries, feel free to do the same! Stuff the bird with it, put more in roasting pan and then swirl in the cooked juices of the roasted bird when it's done cooking. There is no greater example of the quote attributed to Aristotle: "The whole is greater than the sum of its parts."

3) Pumpkin Pie

I shouldn't have to explain the magical appeal of a smooth, velvety, spiced, rich hued pumpkin custard baked in a flaky, all-butter pie crust still warm from the oven with a dollop of cool creamy homemade whipped cream. The grocery-store pre-made options will do in a pinch, the same way a McDonald's ice cream can briefly fool your cravings; but their crusts are made with shortening and I have no words to what that does to a girl's outlook on life. Use this recipe from King Arthur Baking to make a homemade pie.

4) Binging with Babish's Green Bean Casserole

My first experience with this example of Classic American Cuisine was made with canned green beans, canned mushroom soups, and a cardboard tube of fried onions. Yes, yes, the same people who love prefer canned cranberry sauce will insist that this is the way green bean casseroles are meant to be made. Who hurt you?

Anyway, one year Dan embarked on the spiritual journey of making the casserole with everything from scratch: the soup, frying his own onions, and fresh green beans.

Y'all.

It was the best goddamn thing I've ever eaten at this time of year.

5) Dressing Up For the Gathering

Yeah, let's just round out this hipster list of #notlikeotherthanksgivings. wHeN i WAs A cHIlD for big deal family gatherings and dinners I would put on my adorable frilly little girl dress, some itchy tights that would start drooping within seconds, and my shiny mary-janes. Was it uncomfortable? My God. Did I bask in the adoration of being the cutest little thing in that house for 6+ hours? Oh HELL yes. Nowadays the norm for adults is to wear the stretchy pants that bear more than a passing resemblance to pajamas.

Please, show some respect for the love and effort that went into making this meal. A compromise between black tie, and sweat pants can be struck with some inspiration from Pinterest. I especially like some of these ideas: