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Have Yourself a Non-shitty Office Holiday Party

Don't. Just... Don't. The fact is, employees ultimately want two things from their employer: Time and Money. So, a great holiday office party is twofold: 1) give them the PTO that they would otherwise be spending in this purgatory known as awkwardly imbibing alcohol with HR. 2) Give them the money as a bonus you would otherwise spend on this chore of a shindig.      In previous workplaces the holiday office party was mandatory, and this meant I suffered through go-karting, and really bad Italian food (yes, it exists in NY), and just a general mentality of why-the-fuck-is-this-a-thing?      And the thing is, in high school and college, movies fed me these utter lies  about what amazing ragers workplace parties are during the holidays and the hot co-workers hook up in custodial closets.   My new(ish) workplace is far less toxic and this year the workforce received an email inviting us to a casual holiday celebration on a Friday. Dear Reader, I had ZERO  inclination to go, thanks

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